Mother demands to move in with her 31-year-old daughter due to financial issues and makes a big scene when she denies: ‘I feel like my mother is "window shopping" to see with which one of her kids she will be more comfortable.’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 4, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

You're a little old to still be living with your mother, or is it the other way around?

Leaving the nest is complicated. You have to be responsible, have a steady income, and take care of EVERYTHING. And when I say everything, I really mean it, from washing your clothes to cooking every meal of the day. If you leave clothes on the floor, nobody is going to pick them up for you. If you don't clean after yourself, insects will start to invade your new space. If something breaks, you have to take care of getting it fixed. It's extremely hard for the change that a young adult goes through when moving out of their parent's house, but maybe it's also hard for the parents.

There are many reasons why a parent wouldn't love for their child to move out. It could be a missing issue, not knowing if they are going to be able to take care of themselves without a parent's help. Then we have the financial issue in some cases, like the one in the story below. If your kid was helping out with some money when they move out, the household is going to struggle because even though there is one less person to feed, there are still utilities and other necessities that won't be able to maintain coverage.

In this case, we have a struggling mother who is no longer able to cover her necessities due to her low income. In her case, it is understandable to reach out to family members to try to get some financial help. The problem is that she is demanding to move in with her 31-year-old daughter, and she's not comfortable with that. Even though the mother is going through a hard time, she can't demand that her daughter accept to live with her. This adult in her thirties has every right to deny the imposition and tell her to see if her other children can provide her a place to live.

The thing that really sells the daughter's reasons is that she didn't say she wasn't going to help her. She just explained that she didn't want to share her house with her mother. That is not only understandable but fair. This woman has other children, so maybe one of them can help her out, or at least they can all pitch in financially so every child can maintain his home situation as it is right now. 
 

Advertisement
  • 01
    I'm having some issues with my mother and I thought I post here to get a sanity check. I'm 31, single and I live alone since I was 19, so far renting small apartments made for single people. My mother lives in our family home with my sister (my sister is an adult, she's working but wants to save on rent). The house is fully paid, not rented. In the last couple of years, there's been some occasions when
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 02
    A person resting on a sofa while he reads a book. Representation.
    via Toa Heftiba

    A person resting on a sofa while he reads a book.

    Representation.

  • 03
    there's arguments in the family, my mother says that "she's tired of all of us" and that she wants to sell the house and go live somewhere else, which to us doesn't seem like a good idea knowing that the money she sells the house for may not cover another house alone. The first and most important issue I have right now: I got the chance of buying my own house, and the moment my mother
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 04
    found out about this she started saying that she will move in with me. I had to tell her that I want to live alone, and that won't let her move in with me because she feels like it and not out of necessity. This, to no one's surprise, caused a big argument that ended with her yelling at me that I don't love her and that I'm ungrateful. Second issue: I am not the older sibling. I have two older brothers
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 05
    that already have their own lives. You could say that their personal economy is not as stable as mine, and they are still renting, even with family of their own. To me, I feel like my mother is "window shopping" to see with which one of her kids she will be more comfortable, and I don't think that's fair.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 06
    Mother and adult daughter sitting together at a bench in a park. Representation.
    via Dario Valenzuela

    Mother and adult daughter sitting together at a bench in a park.

    Representation.

  • 07
    mynamesnotcarter Hold on to your boundary, show her other ways you love her or will be there for her, but don't let her move in even for "a few months". NTA
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 08
    Explanation_Lopsided NTA. It doesn't sound like your mother is going to listen to reason. She wants her way and is going to yell at you and call you ungrateful if you don't do what she wants. Is there any way you can just tell her that the house purchase fell through and then secretly buy it on your own?
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 09
    Kitchen Trifle_8382 It sounds like your mom has too much free time. Why does she need to live with any of her adult children? The whole point of becoming an adult is living separately from parents. Your mom needs to find some hobbies that fully occupy her. Can you suggest some activities she might enjoy?
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 10
    rasalscan NTA. It's good you are setting clear boundaries on your home. I would suggest though, if she wants to sell her house and have her own place, she should. All her children are grown and it sounds like she is s ck of the family home. I'd be supporting her independence.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 11
    username 0000 NTA ungrateful for what? She's not your child, she owns her own house. You moved out at 19. You don't want to live with a parent who instantly goes to "ungrateful" and "you don't love me” when they don't get their way.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 12
    LuxLo11 Best she doesn't move in when she's apparently so d in tired of all of you. NTA.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 13
    ThatEditorDude NTA, your mom chose to have kids, so you don't really owe her anything. She has a paid off house and could kick out your sister. Don't let her move in because moving her out wil be 20x harder. If they want to fight over it, let them fight with a wall and don't feed into it your house should be your safe space and if you have been living alone since 19, you bring a weird dynamic back into your life :)
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 14
    Mera 1506 NTA. That said the moment your sister leaves the house may be to much too maintain for her alone. So keep in mind selling the house can happen within the next couple of years. But yeah the irony is thick with this one. The woman who says she's tired of everyone is trying to move in with the people she's tired of? The math ain't mathing.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 15
    Zestyclose-Custard-2 Why is your mother allowed to say that she's tired of you all, but you aren't allowed to want to live alone? Tell her you're tired of her. Tell her that I'm tired of her, too. NTA
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 16
    WanderingCharges Don't let her move in unless you truly, actively want her to. Recognize the guilt tripping and manipulation for samples of what living with her will be like.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 17
    Neat-Ostrich7135 My mother says sh like this. I'm 52, there is no way I would live with her, a couple of hours a month is my limit. I just grey rock any mention of her moving in. It seems to have stopped.
    via Empty-Scratch7073
  • 18
    This, to no one's surprise, caused a big argument that ended with her yelling at me that I don't love her and that I'm ungrateful. How many years did your mother house her mother? I doubt there is a precedent, likely you are just following her example.
    via Empty-Scratch7073

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

mother living together family feud new homebuyers daughter
Scroll Down For The Next Article